Don’t Manage, Get even!

I recently read an article on Managing a Difficult Boss. The writer had concisely explained how to master the dirty game of office politics, suck up and do all the demeaning stuff just to keep your boss happy and off your back. After reading the article, I tossed the magazine into the thrash. 

Very few people have the good fortune of working with the sweetest bosses; you know, the kind that doesn’t yell his/her orders, won’t bite your head off for every mistake you make, is not verbally (or physically) abusive, an organized team leader and intelligent boss who has the employee’s best interests at heart. Gosh! I just envy those people. On the other hand, imagine working with the devil incarnate, makes you work weekends, never says ‘sorry’ or ‘thank you’, makes you work twelve hours a day and never pays you overtime. Coupled with the horror, is a Human Resource department who turns a blind eye to the drama in your department; so filing a formal complaint or passing a memorandum against his/her royal highness won’t go very far.

In instances where you are absolutely fed up of the situation and just don’t want to try managing the evil goblin; you could just look for another job or resign, right? Wrong!

I say get even! No one has the right to mistreat anyone just cause they are in the position of power. However, you may want to consider the following before picking up your sword:

Are you to blame: Ok. Not everyone can be perfect but if every time your boss throws tantrum or grows horns, you actually did something (was rude to clients, forgot the deadline was last week, showed up to a meeting late) to warrant such behavior, you need to check your attitude. 

Do you have a Plan B: I must warn you, if you want to get even, please have a plan B. The goal is to frustrate the meanie while having fun. There may come a time when you have to jump ship hence you best have a life boat waiting.

Motives: If you are getting even because you think it can change the situation then think again. Painting a leopard’s skin black doesn’t make it a panther. If you want to have fun and add some humor to the pathetic situation, here’s how:

-          When boss starts to bark, Smile. This is hard, especially when you are upset but think of it this way, people in a fit of anger derive satisfaction when the other person is angry, sad or afraid. Lets pull the rug from underneath 'em and give humor instead. 

-          When boss makes you work late (just to show who’s boss), cancel your appointments (you are going to miss them anyway) work on a deliberately slow pace on the ‘document’ and chat with the friends you never see on facebook, linkedIn or just tweet. When she asks for the document, act tired and hand in an incomplete work. If she won’t let you go home at the normal time, then she won’t get any productivity.

-          When boss asks for a report for an urgent meeting (that makes him come out good and gives him ALL the credit) hide the true report in-between a lengthy story of 400 pages x 50 pages. Good luck reading that!

-          When boss takes credit for your work, there’s very little you can do about that. When he comes back to you for more bright ideas, hype his idea as a bright one. When you get into the meeting (with the higher management) suddenly get an ‘eureka!’ with documented evidence to support your ‘impromptu idea’. Then smile and shrug at the silly look on his face. If he tries to butt in here, use the ‘I’ word…a lot.

-          When boss is running late and the Partner asks you why, DO NOT cover for him. Act clueless and blame the network (for not being able to reach him).

Good luck with the fighting, but remember there is no definite play-dirty rule since different bosses have varied demons in them. Have fun while doing it but if it’s no more fun, just stop. However, before you resign, start a lot of jobs you can’t finish before leaving, and a new recruit couldn’t possible learn within the period of time. 

Now that’s fun!